The great conspiracy to keep me unemployed

I think I need to explain a little bit about the great conspiracy to keep me unemployed. I have a masters degree in psychology and almost 4 years work experience post masters in really challenging (read: stressful) work environments. I didn’t think I would have any problem finding a job when we moved to NYC back in fall of 2008, since NYC is full of crazy people and the organizations that serve crazy people suffer from extremely high turnover (most people have enough sense not to work in the “challenging” positions for very long). But then the whole “recession” thing developed in full bloom, and jobs vanished. There was nothing. Funding dried up, organizations enacted hiring freezes, and yours truly, Dear Readers, found him self out in the cold, SOL, saying to himself OMG WTF.

That was a year and a half ago.

In the meantime I discovered that I seem to have a talent for poker, so I began putting serious time into playing in online poker rooms, and did ok. It wasn’t quite enough to pay all the bills, but between the earnings, saving, credit cards, and student loans (we moved to NYC for wife to go to school), we squeaked by.

And we continue to squeak.

In the last year I have applied to so many jobs that I can’t keep track of which agencies I’ve applied to multiple times. I’ve applied to Catholic human services, some sort of Jewish organization, a Buddhist counseling center, and the NYPD. I briefly considered applying to Starbucks (I figured they would love to have a native Seattle-ite behind the counter to give them an air of authenticity). I had a brief stint as a bounty hunter. I’ve sold nearly everything we own on Ebay, including nearly all of our CDs, DVDs, collectibles, and even garbage (and I am not joking about this one: I literally pulled things out of the trash can, scanned them, and sold them on eBay. I’m not going to tell you what I sold though, cuz then you, Dear Readers, might muscle in on my market share).

And we continue to Squeak.

And you know what? I’ve found that I don’t really mind just squeaking by. I sleep in every day. I sip my coffee as I log onto my computer and check email, face-book, and start playing poker. We even get to go to happy hour and occasionally go out to eat at one of the many absurdly cheap restaurants in our neighborhood (and some in Manhattan, more on this latter) once in a while. I have lost 30 pounds and am in the best shape of my life (I cycle, train at a martial arts school, and pay attention to my diet). If one were to consider all the factors besides income, you would say I am a raging success. But our society doesn’t think that way now does it? So I find that I still fantasize about punching the clock at a boring job. How sick and twisted is that?

And here, Dear Readers, you will find is the source of the title of my inglorious blog: when I meet somebody at a party, do I say I am unemployed, or FUNemployed?

I think I’ll just say I freelance.
.