Time flies when youre having rum

As most of you know by now, I took advantage of a $20 round trip ticket offer from Jet Blue to go to the Bahamas for a single over night earlier this week. If any of you are still doubting, I have the sunburns to prove it.

I woke up at 3:30am on Tuesday, took a cab to JFK, and within hours was wandering stupidly around Nassau town.

I had some good food, some good drinks, really good cigars, got offered cocaine (declined), heroin (also declined), and hair braiding (enthusiastically accepted!). I learned that corn-rows are not so much my style.

I enjoyed exploring, but in general Nassau is not a place I can say that I would recommend to others. It is very expensive, seems pretty run down, and really doesn’t have that many points of interest. I’m sure there are more interesting parts of the island, I just didn’t see them. Nassau does have a cool little down-town commercial area with lots of restaurants and cool shops though. It also has a pirate museum to which my attempts to visit were thwarted. Argh.

Beautiful beaches and turquoise water, its definitely tropical and I had a rather blissful time sitting on the beach enjoying a daiquiri made by “Uncle Steve” while enjoying a Cuban Monte Cristo. I will post pictures of Uncle Steve later. He was an interesting guy and very excited for me to take pictures of him and put him "up on the Facebook.” He apparently doesn’t have a website or an email address however. At least he has electricity, which allowed him to blast a series of cheesy 80’s pop songs. Including several numbers by that guy who does “Wooooh, think twice. Blah blah something just another day in Paradise”. In fact he played that very song, I suspect twice. Did I mention the daiquiri was really strong? I discovered (after uploading my photos today) that I began taking pictures of various women’s behinds on the beach at one point. I am embarrassed to admit that, but I figure you all deserve to be wholly informed. Luckily for me, none of them noticed.

Anyways. Nothing too note-worthy happened.

The US customs guy gave me grief about having Cuban cigars though. Guess I should of lied about that. He didn’t take them however, just made me remove the bands from them so I can’t complain too much. But still, it strikes me as absurdly stupid to still be enforcing the embargo. I thought we elected a communist president? That’s what I keep hearing anyways. Something doesn’t add up. But either way, its not like the Cubans are going to rise up and overthrown communism simply because I can’t buy cigars. And besides, what does it matter now anyways? Isn’t the cold war over? I vaguely remember something about that, but I could be wrong. I am about most things that rely on accurate recollection, after all.

So there you have it.

True, I went to the Bahamas.

True, I took candid photos of bikinis bottoms on the beach.

True, I had some sketchy guy serve up lines of white powder for me which I declined.

False, I brought home a monkey. I didn’t see even a single monkey, damn it.

Someday I will however, and some day soon after that, I will have a small primate trained to open beer bottles, cut and light cigars, and untie bikini bottoms.

Someday.