Lance’s official Kick Boxing record: 1-1

As noted in a previous post, I had low expectations going into the tournament yesterday. What I did expect, was to fight and to hurt, afterwards. And maybe fight more than once (its single elimination, so if you lose your first fight, you're done). Well, as luck would have it, I got to the third round of the tournament! Granted, I got a bye in the first round but after that I got a win by disqualification, then lost a tight decision to the guy who ended up taking first in the division. Really not too bad.

And today, I most definitely hurt. So I would say I far exceeded my expectations, and I feel pretty good about that.

Two things I experienced which I did not expect: I was not nervous at all. This one still mystifies me. I expected to be all nervous and anxious while standing on deck next to a guy several ranks higher than me, but amazingly, I was the picture of a calm spirit. The Dalhi Lama would be proud. Although he probably wouldn’t be so excited about me kicking and punching somebody, but if he knew what a victim of nerves I used to be, I can say with confidence that he would be impressed, at the very least.

The second thing that I didn’t expect, was that despite how not anxious and nervous I was, as soon as the bell rang, I still forgot everything I was planning to do. It was like I was suddenly plopped down in the middle of a foreign city and I wasn’t sure which way to turn or who to ask for directions…and with an experienced fighter kicking and punching me at the same time, which does not particularly allow for the gathering of one’s bearings.

And so I kicked. A lot. I pounded away with low kicks and threw punches whenever I wasn't kicking, and was doing pretty good right up until I got a full powered round kick to the side of my head.

Yah, that made my head swim for a minute. It also won me the fight, as only controlled kicks to the head are allowed, and this was definitely not controlled so he was disqualified.

So there I stood, a bit dizzy, but undefeated! The paramedics checked me out at the request of ring side staff (apparently it looked pretty brutal) and satisfied with my ability to count by 7s and turn my head etc, they gave me an ice pack and allowed me to decide whether or not to continue. Naturally, my response was “what, no morphine?”

But seriously, I’ve got such a cushion of dead brain cells that it would take Chuck Norris to make any real impact upon my consciousness via fancy footwork.

Next fight, against the second highest ranking guy in our division (the highest ranked was the guy I had just so cleverly vanquished), went pretty well. I kept hitting him with unanswered low kicks and felt that I connected with more solid punches. I had him “on the ropes” for most of the round (although there are no actual ropes), keeping decent pressure on him. But alas, they gave him the decision and there ended my undefeated record. But at least I lost to the guy who won the division.

It was a fantastic experience, however, even despite a sharp pain in my left side this morning, courtesy of a nice uppercut from the first guy, and then a repeat uppercut to the exact same spot by the second guy. Note to self: avoid kidney shots.

So what did I learn from yesterday? Several things. 1. I am now fearless, apparently; 2. While kicking is great, “punches in bunches” is what wins fights; and 3. Damn, shots to the kidneys really really suck. I’m having some trouble walking today.

But oddly, I’m kind of enjoying it. Makes me feel like I really earned something. Although I don’t know why anybody would want to earn heaps of pain. But its better than having pain that isn't earned I guess.

Either way it does give me the right to treat myself, so today, I’m going to grab the best Cuban cigar I’ve got, take my book, head down to the waterfront, and bask in the sun. And maybe tonight I’ll crack open that $400 bottle of Cognac I’ve had for like, 6 years.

I feel like I’ve finally earned it.