Mind as Tabula Rasa

Ugh!


I fear that my super powers are being drained. Ive got projects to work on but I cant bring myself do anything but sit here and stare at the computer or play mafia wars. Which is basically the same thing.

But I had a good day! I won the traveler contest thing! And I did an interview with one of the owners of the Brooklyn Wine Exchange for an article I’m writing for BrooklynExposed.com. But I cant bring myself to start writing about it.

I don’t think this is depression, I just have like, zero motivation. Hmm, as it turns out, my motivation can’t beat up your motivation. Unless your motivation has even more serious problems than mine. Like cerebral palsy or something.

I just want to go to bed now. Had a really good class. And you know, I think I cracked another rib. Its been hurting for several weeks now, and when I press on the one spot, it sends shooting pain through my chest. I cant understand how I would have cracked a rib in my chest though. I took a couple of blows there, but nothing remotely hard enough to do damage like that. But it sure feels cracked.

It really doesn’t matter though. There is no treatment for a cracked rib and getting an x-ray will confirm it, but other than satisfying one’s curiosity, it is otherwise pointless. So I will continue to avoid laughter, sneezes, and coughs to the best of my ability.

Man, I just want to sleep. And eat.

Okay, this is funny.. I know I said this doesn’t feel like depression but in the last couple of paragraphs I have just described like, half the symptoms that are on the depression check list. But I feel generally like I’m in a good mood! I don’t know.

Let me think, I must have learned something about how to deal with depression…

How about Behavioral Activation? That means, DO something that I Enjoy. Liiiike, uhh, writing? That’s one that people often reported having helped improve their mood. Maybe its working. I do feel better than when I started. I guess that’s something. I still just want to go to bed though.

This must be really boring to read, and for that I apologize.

Consider this a meditative post.

You are now one step closer to enlightenment.